And I felt bad for not inviting my mom, but still picture her being there high anyway. Although she might have cried happily for once, and that would have made me feel good. But not really changed her mind. I asked her if she got high today, but in a judge, jury and executioner kind of way. What I really wanted was to be non-judgemental. Supportive. But I doubt that’s what she heard me say. That I know who she is and I am doing my best to accept her. But I’m probably not. And I wanted to say “would you like to see the kids this weekend?” But I didn’t. She said though, “I love you,” with emojis, and I said it back, but it felt less trite. As if somehow, someday I might.