Who is in the Pennsylvania Army National Guard?

  1. White dudes who peaked in Catholic High schools and believe the cast of “It’s Always Sunny” to be representative of Philadelphia’s population.
  2. Latino/as recruited by or affiliated with SFC Guerra’s team. All of them.
  3. Niggas who went to war to buy Dodge Chargers.
  4. Medics.
  5. All of the cops and corrections officers from Philly.
  6. White girls who voted for ya’lls new president.
  7. Married dudes scouring the Earth for new pussy.
  8. Seven bougie black girls who wanted college money.
  9. The homeless.
  10. Way too many niggas that worship Lil Yachty or Uzi or whatever.
  11. White dudes who wear “Tapout” T-shirts and their tan army boots when they go out with their bros in pimped out pickup trucks.
  12. Everybody from burning crosses PA, AKA Pennsyltucky, who thinks college is a conspiracy complex for traitorous, pansy liberals.
  13. Three confuzzled feminists who don’t know how they got here.
  14. Several people who I assumed died before their 20s.
  15. Me, hatin’.

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