The White Feminists Redux and Niggardly Hotep Affiliate Coalition have joined forces, putting their differences aside in order to vie for the joint individual rights of their respective subject positions through the explicit exploitation of particular pre-interpolated bodies manifest through late capitalist neoliberal hand-me-downs from Jim Crow and Bobby Brown, while reserving a seat for Carolyn Bryant’s ghost. T’Challa will be a guest speaker, and it is estimated that seven to ten or thirty-five Dora Milaje will die guarding the building. There will be no mass grave; the corpses will be resurrected to carry pyramids and give birth simultaneously. Winston Duke and Idris Elba will be lusted after and scolded in reference to said lust by Amy Schumer and Lena Dunham whose subsequent lawsuits are pending. Katy Perry and R. Kelly will lead a roundtable discussion on the benefits of youth engagement with Miss Grundy as a guest speaker. The panel: My Black Queens and Bean Pies requests abstracts on entrepreneurial property management after a reading by Iceberg Slim. There will be six panels on Gal Gadot’s intersectionality. Twenty-six panels on “Jessica Jones,” one for each Black body obliterated to unanimous applause toward the proliferation of white womanhood. Dr. Umar and Steve Harvey will be printing degrees for fifteen-thousand dollars each at an offsite event in the Chocolate Factory night club, ladies free after midnight. Separate registration fees required for the special conversation between Meryl Streep and Caitlyn Jenner on how universal trauma can bring us all together. The event is sponsored by Dove, Benetton and Apple.
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